I’m thinking that TicketMaster has lost their collective minds. I got an email yesterday from them promoting Clifford The Red Dog live at the Opera House in Boston. Let’s take a look at the sheer brilliance of this utterly useless email effort, shall we?
First of all, Clifford The Big Red Dog is a 40-year old children’s book character from Scholastic (though I swear I don’t remember him when I was a kid and that was sure as hell less than 40 years ago).
Secondly, I am a single, never-married guy with no children that I am aware of.
And most disturbing, the last five sets of tickets I bought from TicketMaster were:
- Trans-Siberian Orchestra
- Aerosmith and Lenny Kravitz
- Judas Priest and Anthrax
- Iron Maiden
- Scorpions and Whitesnake
Uhhh… yeah. Maybe TicketMaster wants a few of us head-bangin’ Satan-worshipers there to balance out the saccharinity of Clifford, but mommy and daddy probably won’t be too happy if I show up wearing my "Keep Music Evil" or Baphomet and pentagram t-shirt at their friggin’ kid’s birthday party.
Or maybe Ticketmaster has taken on a vast right-wing neo-conservative effort and will bombard me with wholesome entertainment until I renounce the devil’s music?
Maybe I’ll just show up wearing a pair of shorts worn under a trench coat with a low-wearing hat and sunglasses. You know, just to freak ’em out. Maybe Sesame Street Live will be in town too.
If you’re going to get arrested, you might as well make a spectacle of yourself…
On a totally semi-related note, I originally was going to write this with the following list:
- Trans-Siberian Orchestra
- Aerosmith and Lenny Kravitz
- Judas Priest and Anthrax
- Ozzfest
- WASP with La Guns and Stephen Pearcy
- Motorhead and Corrsion of Confiromity
- Dio and Anthrax
All of which were in the last year. That would have made my point a bit stronger, don’t you think? However, #4, 5, 6, and 7 were all bought through either Tickets.com or NextTicketing. I didn’t even notice how the places my tickets are coming from has changed in the last two years. Glad to see that Ticketmaster doesn’t have the deathgrip it had (and still has for the most part) a few years ago.